Never Letting Go
by AThousandLifetimes
Summary: One-Shot. Mockinjay spoiler.  Ten years after the Rebellion, Annie tells her son about his father


**This is my first Fanfiction, about my favorite couple from the Hunger Games, Finnick/Annie. If you see any English mistake, please tell me ! Hope you'll like it !**

I opened my eyes and saw the beach through the window. Dear ocean, how peaceful and soothing you are to me.

"It's quite empty without you here Finnick. Nothing can calm me down like you. So I try to be strong for our child. He needs me, but I think he will soon need you more. I wish you were here."

I smiled a little. Finnick would look at me and kiss me lightly on the cheek _to make all the sadness vanish from my pretty face_, like he always did. It's been a while since he disappeared in his Capitol mission, but I couldn't deal with him being gone yet and I probably never will. It seemed surreal, impossible to my bruised heart. So every morning, on every day since ten years now, I look down from my window to the sea. I know that when the waves go back into deeper water, they bring my words to my beloved Finnick.

I stood up at the sound of angry steps in the hall and walked in to find Spes, my son, our son. He had his father's messy bronze-colored hair and his sweet, seductive smile. But this one day, his sea-green eyes were dark and his fists were closed in anger. But there was something else in his gaze, something much worse than hatred. Pain.

It took gently his little hand in mine and kneeled down to look him in the eyes.

"Come on, what's wrong?"

He bit his lower lip. He was only ten, but life had forced him through so many things yet. I'd give anything to see my only child grow up with a big and happy family with grandparents, aunts and uncles. I wish he knew Mags. I wish he knew Finnick.

I led him to the rocking chair next to the window and took him on my knees. Now that he was pressed against me, I could feel how little and fragile he was. I ran my fingers through his hair the way Finnick used to do to help me calm down.

"Kids at school say Dad ran away before I was born because he didn't want to take care of me. They say he knew I was a looser."

"Those kids know nothing of your father Sweetie."

I couldn't help but nod. It was hard enough for him to grow tall without a father figure, he did not need that.

I took a deep breath and stared at the ocean. I needed strength. I've always feared this moment, every since the Capitol took Finnick from me, but now it was time to tell him. I wasn't sure he was prepared to hear what I was about to say, but how when would he be? It was horrible and so painful to tell but he had to know who Finnick was.

"Honey, look at me. Your father was the best man I've ever known. He was strong, brave and so loving to me, trust me, he would have been to you too if he had the chance. From where he is now, I'm sure he watches and protects you. He must me proud of who you are, you look so much like him.

Years ago, when I met Finnick, world was not as good as today. The government was made of awful people, who decided to create horrible games, where children like you were forced to fight to the death. Your father and I had to go, but we came back because he watched me like he does with you right now, like an old courageous woman named Mags did for him.

Ten years after your father won those games, a rebellion started. People wanted everything to change, they wanted to grow their children without the fear of them being sent to fight when they were only twelve or thirteen years old. So, victors from the past and other rebels gathered and thought about a way to defeat this government, the Capitol.

After going in the arena another time, losing his friend Mags and being close to loose me too, your father took an important decision : he decided to fight so that you could live in a better world. With some others winners of those games, he fought the government. But they were cruel and didn't mind hurting people. They hurt your father, they … they killed him Sweetie. Finnick died fighting against something that was deeply wrong."

I had to stop as a single tear ran down my face. Spes turned to face me and I could see his eyes were full of water too.

"Don't you regret it ?"

"Regret what, Honey ?" I asked stroking his cheek.

"That Dad… he decided to go ? even if that meant being … killed ?"

"I wish he was here, of course I do, but he made the right choice. You know, you can't always count on other people to make a change. He believed strongly that things could be better, and he fought for them to become. Never let anyone tell you something bad about him Spes. Your father was a hero."

His arms wrapped around my neck and I could feel him shake and sob. I pulled him even closer to me and started rocking slowly.

"He would be proud of you Spes" I said after a while. "As much as I am. I love so, and even though he cannot tell you every day, I know he loves you too. And if one day you don't know which road to choose, listen to the little voice inside of your ear. He'll always be with you Spes, he has always been."

I held him closer to me and kissed his forehead.

Later this night, I opened my window and sat on the bed, facing the dark ocean one more time.

"Thank you Finnick. Spes is growing in a safe world now… And I am too. I can only sleep at night because I know the Capitol will not take him from me. He's the only thing that's left you know. He's my little hope" I add, smiling softly. "Tell Mags I say Hi. I hope you are both fine up there. Tell her to take care of you."

"I love you Finn. I'm never letting go."


End file.
